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January 06, 2017

People Around You


People around you should honour you, appreciate you or encourage you. Anyone who lacks any of this merit is not contributing to your achievement and such people deserve less of your precious time.

Do you know that you are as good as people around you, it is natural that when you meet people; consciously or unconsciously, the first assignment is that you both will be trying to locate what common ground you are both alike, what benefit will you derive from the relationship and of course what differences exist between you.


One of the most important decisions we make in life is the choice of people we want around us, but unfortunately we pay little consideration to this decision. Recently I was delivering a speak in a birthday party that comprises of youth and while they are expecting me to talk of financial education and or entrepreneurships as usual, I changed the discussion to that of relationship, most especially between a man and a woman who agreed to spent the rest of their life together.

One of my keynotes that day was that can someone tell me why we spent years focusing on our career most especially academic at the earlier stage of our life but decide in minutes, days or months the choice of the person we call a partner; someone we plan to spend the rest of our life with.

This happen to be a shocking revelation to many people present because I elaborated that, that years of career effort will be affected or likely be a waste if you choose wrongly.

Analyse People around You
The old adage that says, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are” is not wrong, they will surely whether you like it or not influence your decisions and actions except if you know it and try as much as possible to help them or spent little time with them. This is from experience and experience of people I have work with concerning their career and personal development.

If you are having challenges with your career in contrary to your effort, the first thing is to study and scrutinize the people you spent most of your time with and those who contributed to your decisions as we use to do by sharing issues with them. Who among them is contributing to the problems or the solutions, this will give you a clue on who deserves your precious resources (time) and who don’t, and who you need to keep or leave.

Chances are among friends and family, there are some who their job is being negative, they complain and see the negative people and things around. They listen and read the negative things in the media and see it as a gist and always pour it out with energy when they are around you. This set of people are dangerous, I can only advice you do away with them. If not, I doubt if you will have what it takes to guard yourself from their negativity without being affected.

Can you help them?
The question of helping people around you if you are the positive type may arise. Yes and No, it all depends on the person you are dealing with. I have an elderly friend who is always willing to help if the need arise, but unfortunately he have challenges too, and I am always want to be of help, but in my own case, I believe in empowering people with their talent, skills, experience etc. But the problem with this friend of my is that, he is too negative and always see the negative side of things rather than positive. All my effort to help him see the opportunity in front of him is proofing impossible since he never believe in it. After all he never need my help in such area and never see himself to be my client, so I have to decide to let him be which set in a very big distance between us because I also believe in the adage that says, “Birds of the same feather flocks together.”

Yes you can help them change their negativity if they are willing and see you to be one of the right people that can help, because this will be a positive impact in your life too. You will always sit around talking about solutions instead of problems. But No, if they are not seeing it that way, if they so much engross in their so called problems that has no solution, if all they do is complain. I can only advise you do away from this set of people.

There are other people who in their own way are to belittle you, who never see the right in whatever you do. This set of people are close relatives and friends, most of the time are elderly or have one right or another over you. This set are even dangerous, they set your mind in questioning your efforts and actions. It is up to you to turn their negativity to strength, this set of people might be a tool to challenge you. In other word, it is not everyone that is not influencing us we do away with among friends and family, some of them are tools of challenge to achieve our dream.

Dedicating Time to the Relationship
Now that you have scrutinize and find the right people around you, the best way to benefit from it is to schedule your professional life around them, instead of work alone, if not, this in the long run will hurt you.

One of the secret of every successful people is that they spent enough time with people who matter to them. They know that to think straight and right at work, they have to keep away any personal worry which most of the time spring up out of neglecting people around us.

As a success coach, I know how important people around us really matters, either for the negative or the positive. We have to dedicate time to decide on this, just as we decide on our career decisions.

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