When the Love Just Begin, Do we Have to Talk about Money?

Love and money are two sensitive issues that we are all one way or another apply sentiment beyond necessary. In relationship, most especially at the start, while I support the school of thought  that believe love matter most, at the same time, I am not in support of shying away from the truth of discussing personal finance in other to be aware of each other’s view on such a sensitive subject.

Courtship is unnecessary if we can not freely discuss issues that can make or break the relationship in the future. The essence of courtship seems to be a period when we make each other happy beyond necessary, happiness we will find difficult to give each other when we eventually come together. The reason is nothing but instead of being candid in other to understand each other’s view, we hide the truth and most especially our feelings, sacrificing beyond necessary not because we naturally have such trait but to persuade the other party of the best better half we are.

Upbringing and family background contribute to some extent while peer group could not be excluded. Your parents and siblings being the closet will be glad you accept their view even if it’s against yours. Although, our parents are in position to advice us in chosen the right partner, they also can advice us what we need to disclose and what we need to high during courtship. It is left for you to decide the long term effect of such decision. The fact still remains, their no exception from the truth.

Come to think of it, will you prefer a divorce than a relationship that never workout? If you prefer the later, one of the issue you should discuss regularly during courtship to understand the other party view is money. It doesn’t matter whether you are man or woman. You might be the type that believes in working towards the future with the resources you have at hand, while the other party is a spendthrift, someone who shopping is the favourite hobby. If you are not aware of this before you become one, there will be problem.

Courtship is a period we need to understand, influence and give each other the required support to make the relationship work. It is not the time to hide or feel embarrass to discuss major issue such as finance. If you cannot freely discuss financial matters with your loved one before you get married, it is almost inevitable that you will have problems related to financial matters during your married life. It is not the amount of money that you have that matters but what you intend to do with it and how you expect to manage it.

For instance, it is not every man that accept being responsible about the financial upkeep of the family. Are you aware is your man is such the one? And of course, a good woman should giver her husband a support where needed. What if that is against your woman ideology? There are many men who get jealous because their woman earn more than they do and many women get over arrogant just because they earn more than their man. Many issues may break relationship and lead to divorce but couples who are open most especially about finance during courtship built better relationship.

Your present financial predicament should be the first area of discussion; earnings, assets and debts. If the party is in debt during that period, are you ready work together to settle it. If on your part you are financially savvy and your partner do not. Find out if s/he is ready to learn and adjust if not are you ready to accept it that way.

Definitely, there could never be perfection, but notwithstanding I suggest that you tell each other frankly your view about money, success and what it means to be successful. If it turns out that your ideology about finances are incompatible, you will have a better understanding on how to accept each other for what you are or to agree on how you will both overcome the differences. There is also the option to postpone the marriage or cut the relationship if the issues are truly nonadjustable and you can see that love might not be enough, in the long run.

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