My Father is a Genius, and I am What He Is

During one of the graduation ceremony at my
Digital Skills Training Centre: L-R
Mum, Myself, Dad and Uncle (Daddys brother)

I was fortunate to have a dialogue with my father on the 20th of June, 2020 in his residence at our village, Ikotun-Aase in Lagos Nigeria after a brief family meeting. He is in his 80s and I wish I could always have that opportunity every now and then; the challenge is that Daddy is not ready to live in town, he preferred to stay back in the village where he lives 99% of his life.

I have always love to have this kind of friendship with my father, not that we are far apart physically but just like a typical African father, intimacy and dialogue are not known to be part of parenthood, but to large extent, he is caring just like average fathers out there.

I remembered far back in my school days, I assumed many of my friends have intimacy with their parents but I am not sure and I really want to do the same but every time I went to my father for dialogue, it does result to argument and in many occasions, I always walk away cold or crying because I hate arguing with him.

Before writing further, let me share major traits about my father maybe you may see you in him and continue being a good father and adjust from his similar shortcomings or related ones that are affecting you been a father your children deserve.

  1. The first time I learned about the meaning of workaholic, without thinking twice, my father came to mind. He is a farmer and has always been in number one till date since I am aware of that despite the fact that he has stopped active farming but trust me he has invested in creating assets (coconut plantations) for himself using the resources at his disposal including his children cultivating sugarcane plantation farm planting coconut to take over. He instills this spirit in almost all his children and I will forever be grateful for that although a little selfish which you will find out later because I am yet to figure out why but have learned never to follow such path.
  2. He never pays attention, believes, and gives his children a good head start in life. Am I supposed to say this? Yes! The reason is that out of about eighteen of us I am the only one fortunate to have an education; as in traditional education; going to school. Right from when I was in primary school where I have a double promotion, he promised and everyone is aware that he will sponsor my education to university level but behold, my education is almost stopped in-between secondary school but my stubbornness and determination never let it happen and mummy is always there for me. After secondary school, he is not ready to further but I made him do that although not 100% sponsorship I will forever be grateful for that. I tried to apply the same stubbornness and determination to help my other siblings when I need help myself but do they see what I see? Are they ready to do what I do? I tried a help few to the best of my ability but it’s never easy and this affected me a lot. Are you such a father? Then you need to rethink. I understand this is not too common today because we are a path of what he is enjoying today, why we are left to find our ways in this jungle called earth.

  3. He has little spiritual training and influence but he guides us spiritually. You dare not go to the mosque for the morning (Subhi) and night (Magrib and Ishai) prayer; you could if you are ready for punishment. Afternoon (Suhri and Asr) prayer meet us on the farm, except he is not around. This I will forever be grateful for because that made lots of impact in my life, I don’t joke with spiritualism in my family and ensure we pray together always. Are you such a father, keep it up, they will forever be grateful for your guidance? If not, please amend.
  4. Morally, my father is the best Role Model, this I can hold my head high. He frowned at every act of immorality and lives his talk. The best bank in my village to date is my father. A banker to the whole community and beyond, banker to the Muslim Communities, associations, family and friends, etc. I learned so much from you, this is one of it, proud of you daddy. According to a Yoruba adage, “Olooto ilu, oun ni Osika ilu” meaning “the trustworthy are always refer to as the antagonist”. Not only that, but he is also the community advocate and activist, he will never bow down for cheating and anyone who wants to pay the community back the other way round for act of kindness given to him and he won much more than loosing and anytime he lost, he never gives up.
  5. Emotionally, fathers are discouraging, my Dad never takes this into consideration and I took after him until I decided to work on this. In so many cases, daddy disowned us just for something that is not necessary. One of it I could remember is whenever he went to market or town, he does measure space to weed for us and on two occasions like that, he disowned us just because we did not finish up, not because we are not there at all. Can you imagine that?Daddy reports our shortcomings to anyone that is ready to listen and in many occasion called family meetings because of us just to report our shortcomings and will never receive their suggestion and advice; Kasumu (Baba Kekere) himself. Can you fathom that? You know the funniest part of it, we are the best example of good kids in the community. He just wants us to be 100% right all the time. Fathers, check your emotion, it's affecting your children and yourself if you are such a father

To be continued…..

 

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