How to Gain Self-Confidence through Self-Promotion

Just a flash during a study and meditation session, the inspiration came to me relating gratitude to self-confidence and how it determines to what extent we achieve our dreams.

Recently, I was working with a mentee and I realized his challenges lie in self-confidence. This is someone with lots of valuable skills, experiences, hardworking, and I could see he is smart. How come he is not achieving reasonable results and has little to nothing to show for his qualities.

Initially, I thought, as usual, he needs to learn the act of self-discovery. That helps and further exposed why he's getting stuck.

This is someone that always sees the pasture greener at the other ends. He always sees success lies in the other professions and other efforts but never his own, which keeps him learning new skills now and then. As bad as this could indicate, it could also be an advantage because one-day things might start falling in place and many of the skills may later become valuable than expected. But the earlier he discovers where his challenges lay the better.

So we focused on working on his self-confidence taking actionable steps starting with gratitude and appreciation.

We all love people who appreciate our act of kindness no matter how small it is. Even if you insist there is no need for such appreciation, the day the appreciation stop, you may not stop your kindness towards the person but will not stop wondering why the sudden change and that in the long run may affect your willingness of kindness. The same applies to self.

When you are grateful and appreciate what you have, your self-confidence grows to generate the spirit you need to talk about yourself, your skills, and your effort positively. By doing this, you will discover more about yourself and opportunities that existed with your set of talents and skills. Besides, you will position yourself where and to those who will pay or help you achieve your dream. You will expand your network and possibly create a community of loyal customers or fans that will help fuel your dream.

It is not surprising to see people appreciate others for little act of kindness which is not bad but never appreciates their huge efforts to themselves.

Two major environmental factors are stimulating this problem:

1.    Upbringing 

2.    Public Opinion

Many people's self-esteem was stolen from childhood by their parents and guardians and others who are part of raising them, even schools. These people expected to build their self-esteem loud their mistakes and hide their positive results. They enjoy laughing at their shortcomings but hoard their applause for a good act sending a wrong signal of good for nothing that remains in the subconscious mind dictating their lifestyle until one takes action as adults to change the lies through personal development.

Another foremost factor is the public opinion tagging self-confidence to be bigheaded. This is far from the truth, being boastful and self-appreciation to boost your self-confidence is two different things. Excess of everything is indeed bad, but more than excess is the way we act.

I don't know where the ideology of promoting others without being paid is encouraged while the self-promotion is seen to be a crime.

I once worked with another lady who is aware of the need for self-promotion but could act on it as a result of the fear of what people will say about her. Guess what I do, I called her by name and look straight into her eyes and said to her, “Just Do It”. That is a popular statement accredited to one of my mentor, Richard Branson.

By just doing it, you will create the habit and learn how to promote yourself and gradually feel comfortable about it most especially when such effort starts paying off. Not only that, but you will also win over fear; a major challenge to your success.

Selling is fully part of our life, even though we might not be conscious of it. But I need someone to convince me, why I should expend my resources to promote other people's products and services neglecting my own just to gain their approval of not bean bragging or for fun.

This could be where your challenges lie. You need to learn the art of self appreciating and self-promotion to build your self-confidence. As much as it is good to appreciate what others do for or to us, it is also lovely to appreciate what we do to or for ourselves without whom we might be stealing from ourselves to give others to grow.

Gratitude to others and ourselves is a natural principle of success we are taking for granted that have the magical power to shoot us to our dreamland.