Just a flash during
a study and meditation session, the inspiration came to me relating gratitude
to self-confidence and how it determines to what extent we achieve our dreams.
Recently, I was
working with a mentee and I realized his challenges lie in self-confidence.
This is someone with lots of valuable skills, experiences, hardworking, and I
could see he is smart. How come he is not achieving reasonable results and has
little to nothing to show for his qualities.
Initially, I
thought, as usual, he needs to learn the act of self-discovery. That helps and
further exposed why he's getting stuck.
This is someone
that always sees the pasture greener at the other ends. He always sees success
lies in the other professions and other efforts but never his own, which keeps
him learning new skills now and then. As bad as this could indicate, it could
also be an advantage because one-day things might start falling in place and
many of the skills may later become valuable than expected. But the earlier he
discovers where his challenges lay the better.
So we focused on
working on his self-confidence taking actionable steps starting with gratitude
and appreciation.
We all love people
who appreciate our act of kindness no matter how small it is. Even if you insist
there is no need for such appreciation, the day the appreciation stop, you may
not stop your kindness towards the person but will not stop wondering why the
sudden change and that in the long run may affect your willingness of kindness.
The same applies to self.
When you are
grateful and appreciate what you have, your self-confidence grows to generate
the spirit you need to talk about yourself, your skills, and your effort
positively. By doing this, you will discover more about yourself and
opportunities that existed with your set of talents and skills. Besides, you
will position yourself where and to those who will pay or help you achieve your
dream. You will expand your network and possibly create a community of loyal
customers or fans that will help fuel your dream.
It is not
surprising to see people appreciate others for little act of kindness which is
not bad but never appreciates their huge efforts to themselves.
Two major
environmental factors are stimulating this problem:
1.
Upbringing
2.
Public Opinion
Many people's
self-esteem was stolen from childhood by their parents and guardians and others
who are part of raising them, even schools. These people expected to build
their self-esteem loud their mistakes and hide their positive results. They enjoy
laughing at their shortcomings but hoard their applause for a good act sending
a wrong signal of good for nothing that remains in the subconscious mind
dictating their lifestyle until one takes action as adults to change the lies
through personal development.
Another foremost
factor is the public opinion tagging self-confidence to be bigheaded. This is
far from the truth, being boastful and self-appreciation to boost your
self-confidence is two different things. Excess of everything is indeed bad,
but more than excess is the way we act.
I don't know where
the ideology of promoting others without being paid is encouraged while the
self-promotion is seen to be a crime.
I once worked with
another lady who is aware of the need for self-promotion but could act on it as
a result of the fear of what people will say about her. Guess what I do, I
called her by name and look straight into her eyes and said to her, “Just Do
It”. That is a popular statement accredited to one of my mentor, Richard
Branson.
By just doing it,
you will create the habit and learn how to promote yourself and gradually feel
comfortable about it most especially when such effort starts paying off. Not
only that, but you will also win over fear; a major challenge to your success.
Selling is fully
part of our life, even though we might not be conscious of it. But I need
someone to convince me, why I should expend my resources to promote other
people's products and services neglecting my own just to gain their approval of
not bean bragging or for fun.
This could be where
your challenges lie. You need to learn the art of self appreciating and
self-promotion to build your self-confidence. As much as it is good to
appreciate what others do for or to us, it is also lovely to appreciate what we
do to or for ourselves without whom we might be stealing from ourselves to give
others to grow.
Gratitude to others
and ourselves is a natural principle of success we are taking for granted that
have the magical power to shoot us to our dreamland.
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