My Father is a Genius, and I am What He Is (2)

 In the spirit of fatherhood celebration, I wrote a piece titled My father is a Genius and I am What He Is, where I share some of his quality and shortcomings as a father and how I have learned from them and how you too can take the opportunity to scrutinize yourself and adjust where needed to be a husband and father your family deserves.

I have never concluded on listing out what I learned from my father nor tell you what makes him a genius before my time runs out, so I promised to continue.


It seems the society is exaggerating the role of a father and this is beginning to have a negative effect than necessary. Likewise, it is glaring that the exaggeration is as a result of the society assuming the father to be the family hero with emphasis on shouldering the major responsibilities.


Fatherhood is tough but modernization is changing it, still majority men are yet to adjust given the women the opportunity for the accolade they are enjoying today. Of course, they deserve it. Or what do you think?


The reason I am given women my support is that they are good at combining a career with home responsibilities better than we men and it seems glaring they are more flexible. If this is natural for women, I don’t think it is too much for men to learn.

 RELATED: The Beginning of Every Family Unrest is from Woman

In a recent Citi/LinkedIn survey, when men were asked about their biggest career regrets, 17% said they wished they’d spent less time at work and more time with their families or on personal pursuits.

In continuation of the lesson I learned from my father, you may discover the rationale behind that survey and how you can utilize the lesson from my experience and opinion to become the best father your children deserve.


You can’t be a Good Father but the Worst Husband

To become better as a father starts with being a good husband irrespective of what she is to you. It is better to do away with her than to keep her hanging thinking you will have peace transferring the love to your children.


This is one major mistake many men make that gives the children to transfer their love to their mother when they are capable of paying back. We harbor lots of pain but speak a lot unintentionally with our actions. And children for whom they are naรฏve acting on what they see without thinking further.


Few children can look at things the other way. In most cases, many men’s pain does come from the women hindrance and disapproval of their effort to achieve the best for the family sometimes leading to transfer aggression on the children even though you care about then and give the best to make them comfortable but your children capitalize much on your lack of caring.


Spend Much of Your Time Just as Your Money

I guess God is talking to men with the biblical verse that says “money answereth all things”. 


Women are affectionate to the children than we men. We believe by spending much time working to earn enough money for the best of the family, the children will understand and appreciate such love. Unfortunately, they hardly understand, instead, they “rob Peter to pay Paul”, stealing the affection the father needs to heal the wound of earning it all but spend a little to give to their mother adding pain to the father's injury. 

This is one major cause of stress for men and the source of their psychopathic behavior to the family and the general public.


Spend much time with your family is of advantages to you more than that of your children. Apart from been sources of stress relief, it will reduce your regretful moments at your old age when you will later realize.


According to Max Schireson, “Life is about choices. Right now, I choose to spend more time with my family.” Men are agitated to be the breadwinners, as a result of this social perspective spending more time being a husband and father could make us feel inferior and unserious. Unfortunately, if you’re spending most of your time working, your family life is going to suffer and you will earn more blame than praise for doing so.


Plan for the Future (Old Age)

What comes to mind more than ever with this subhead is having enough money towards retirement, but I mean more than that. It is paramount to be financially prepared for our retirement but more than money is having a loved one around us who will help to make that moment more fulfilling.


They might be showing their care from distance away but will not want to come closer if you’ve never been such a loving someone to have around.

As much as I will like to emulate my father for his disciplinarian attitude, his not paying attention to what many people might call little thing that is dictating the way he lives his golden year called for attention and I have learned to improve myself in those aspects.


Besides, I practically learned to explore and innovate as one of his major traits. He is a man that believes in himself and who has taken many paths less travel to become an achiever in his way.




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