Raising Champions Require Building Yourself for Parenting


 

Every child has their uniqueness and it is our role as parents to develop and utilize our psychological skills to understand and treat each child based on their strengths and weakness.

If you are interested in getting the best out of your children, you have to first work on developing yourself not only to lead by sample but to help the child develop a better state of mind.

Investing in our personal development as parent is one major decision to bring the best out of our kids.

It is typical of parents to be extremely nagging and unapproachable in the name of discipline. This approach of parenting is causing more harm and negative outcome out of the children in reverse to the intended purpose.

One typical attitude of children is the belief of having it all. It is our duty as a parent to understand that and do the needful to change the mentally with little or no scolding. A child rose with love and understanding will grow to believe it to be the perfect way of handling issues so also the other way round.

Also Read: The Family as a Training Ground for Our Future Leaders

There are many times they cry unnecessarily, trying to understand what they want with those unwanted attitudes they put up whenever they need something is a way of building them more than satisfy them. That stage of their life is so important to what will become of them in the future. They learn so much and so fast at that stage of their lives and hold unto it for long that it takes a lot of effort to unlearn that knowledge that becomes an attitude. So unfortunate we take that for granted, can you see why you need to be psychologically sound if you care to raise children you will be proud of.

Let me add a personal experience to emphasize this point.

My little girl at two cries unnecessarily many times especially when her dad is around. My husband has on a different occasion informed me of her nature. She appreciates affection more than a material gift as naturally thought off. I am not in disagreement but my nature as a new parent is not given room to accept that fact. Whenever she put up those attitudes, my approach like so many of you is getting irritated and result in scolding and flogging to get her out of that state. You will testify that approach worsens the situation many times than rectifying it. With her dad around the corner, immediately he picked her up and affectionately pets her, in the next minutes she's quiet and laughing again. I tried finding out how her dad gets to take those actions to be nothing and just get to know or find out her needs at every point in time without her uttering a word. To be part of that system I have to be a student of that system and today I am not just using that at home but wherever I go.

Teenage Years: The Time to Rebuild

One important stage of childhood that can make or mere our children is the teenage years. This is the period they started noticing changes in their hormones and having strange sensations. It is a period we should be close to our children and give a lot of education.

We need to listen to them as much as we talk to them, we have to let them express themselves at home else they will to strangers. This is a period they can easily be influenced by peers but as much choose to be a better friend at home, you will not be a stranger to the happenings outside the home.

Also Read: It’s never Where You Started or Where You Are That Matters but Where You're Going

Becoming our children's best friend does not affect our being in a child but we have to let them see the reason behind that decision of stopping them or forcing them to do what we want or not.

We are in most cases the cause of our children's loss of confidence in themselves. It is hurting when I see parents calling their children all sorts of names that steal their confidence. They believe so much in us until we indirectly tell them never to. So whatever we say and refer to them matters to them and sink into their subconscious mind. We should help them build their confidence rather than otherwise and that requires taking seriously our personal development as a parent.

Parenting is endurance and Sacrificing

As youth when we dream of being the best parent to our kids we didn’t know it will be this sacrificing. Parenting entails a lot and can only be accomplished with loads of self-transformation.

It is easy to envision those dreams but sincerely it's going to take more of you, “nothing good comes easily."So, get yourself prepared and most importantly get better yourself, your personal development is important not just for you but also for the innocent child you are about to raise because you cannot give what is not in your possession. Even the decision of adopting him/her to someone requires your judgment of that guardian. You see in others the best part of you in others more than the opposite.

Parenting is sacrificial not an opportunity. If you never have any plan ahead before starting the business of parenting I advise you to go back into your drawing board and draft one for yourself.

While the financial aspect of parenting is important, we lay much emphasis on it in detriment of other important aspects of raising a child unfortunately we still failed in that aspect.

Given a child a head start in life is more than finance. A child with a good orientation with a poor financial background is better than the one with a bad orientation with good financial background. Remember the Yoruba adage that says, "Omo ti a ko ko, ni yio gbe ile ta ko ta". Meaning a child we failed to train (build) will sell the house we built.

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